ESPN just ran this graphic in the 6pm SportsCenter… Chris Webber’s retirement ends his career with an average of 20 points, 9 boards, and 4 assists per game. Great numbers, only 6 other players have that honor, 1 of them is the still-active Kevin Garnett, and the others are all Hall of Famers: Wilt Chamberlain, Elgin Baylor, Larry Bird and Billy Cunningham.

KG is already a lock for the Hall, so do you have to talk about C-Webb?

Well, to ESPN’s credit, whatever talking head they tossed to answered correctly when he said “Nope.” And there’s two reasons why.

First and foremost, Webber missed a lot of time. A lot of time. In 14 years (not counting this last season’s 9 games with Golden State), he averaged only 57 games per season. Across an 82 game schedule, that’s a lot of days off.

Secondly… well, geez, do I even have to say it? Even though it was a long time ago, and Michigan has done it’s best to retcon the entire Fab Five era because of the booster shennanigans, Webber will always be remembered for taking the timeout that didn’t exist. And as far as I know, the HoF doesn’t take kindly to inscriptions that read “Most remembered for blowing it.”

So there were two interesting stories to come out of today’s Media Day at the Super Bowl… well, three if you want to count Deadspin’s “Media Day isn’t Interesting” story (which is interesting, when you consider that ESPN was telling us all just how CUH-RAAAAZY Media Day is!).

Firstly, and this really took place outside of Glendale, AZ… the Boston Globe has begun to take pre-orders on a book detailing the Patriots undefeated season, which is odd considering that the Pats haven’t exactly accomplished the feat yet. People are comparing it to “Dewey Defeats Truman”… I’m thinking it’ll more or less end up in the pile of clothes that gets shipped off to third world countries with the losing team’s swag. Just think, Buffalo has throngs of fans in Ethiopia! (I am pretty sure that joke has been made before, it is kind of an easy one.)

That would be jinx enough… but the Giants countered back with Plaxico Burress calling for a 24-17 win. Now that’s nothing really to get worked up over… I mean sure, it’ll give Carl something to get pissed about, but really, all it does is make Burress look like a dimwit if and when they lose.

But the connundrm here is not “who looks dumber”, because the folks at With Leather answer that one with an enthusiastic “Everyone“. The question floating around in my mind is “Which jinx goes further?” Does Plaxico’s prediction carry more weight because it came from the team? Or is New England’s quest for a perfect season a much more honorable, and therefore fragile goal? Does it matter that the books is not being put out by the Patriots (or even Sports Illustrated), but rather the local paper?

Of course, being the nerd that I am, I turned to the one source of truth… The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Now that these two gauntlets have been thrown, it of course becomes more improbable that the events can actually occur. Especially considering that both the Pats completing a 19-0 season and the Giants winning by this margin are mutually exclusive, the probability of both events happening are in fact, very very improbable. And as was mentioned in the first of the books, the reciprocal nature of improbability being what it is, it has now become very likely that both will happen (How is this an article in Wikipedia?).

My guess is that the Giants will have the lead at 24-17, the Pats will have the ball, and the final play will not work… but a defensive foul will be called (and oh, this will be one for the ages…), and New England will have another chance, will tie it up, win the coin toss in the first Super Bowl to go to overtime, and march down the field to win.

Of course, now that I’ve thrown that out there, it’ll never happen.

As the Toledo Rockets get ready for tonight’s game against Eastern Michigan (at a record of 5-11, 2-2 in the conference), one thing is clear: they still kinda miss Kashif Payne. He had to take a leave of absence at the start of the season, and the way it’s looking, he ain’t coming back. Kinda crummy timing for the team, seeing as Payne was going to be one of only 2 seniors on the team, alongside Jerrah Young. Young, to his credit, is making the best of a bad situation and has really stepped up as a leader.

But the question remains: what happened to Kashif? As it is, nobody’s talking. The University is mum, the daily local would have had a massive exposé if it were something controversial (say, anything that tied into Scooter McDougle’s story), and other coaches are asking me if I know anything (and I’ll tell you right now, I’m connected to nobody). While we hope that everything is fine with his health and well being, we are left with nothing but wild speculation as to his disappearance this year.

After the jump, 11 possible reasons why Kashif Payne has not (and probably won’t ever) play this season:

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