Once again…

• SAN FRANSISCO (-5) over Detroit. Hey, William Clay Jr. says he wants to fire Matt Millen! Too bad William Clay Sr. has the call on that one.
• BALTIMORE (-1.5) over Cleveland. You ever have that moment when your drunk and you start to wonder why so many people in Toledo are Steelers fans? This is why.
• New York Giants (-13) over CINCINNATI. Oh, NOW you decide to actually play hard?
• New York Jets (+9) over SAN DIEGO. I was 4 points ahead in my fantasy matchup. All I needed was a quiet night from Vincent Jackson. And I had that through 3 and a half quarters. One 70 yard pass later, I’m 0-3 in the WSPD league. Oddly enough, my team in the 20-team, auto-picked, “4 starters and cross your fingers!” league is 3-0. And that’s WITH losing Tom Brady. This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

You’ve got it, 6-6.

New Goal: End the season exactly even.

• SAN FRANSISCO (-5) over Detroit. 90% of the Niners’ offense will come on the ground, and Mike Martz will cackle on the sidelines the entire game.
• BALTIMORE (-1.5) over Cleveland. My guess, Brady Quinn finally sees playing time. That makes me a sad panda.
• New York Giants (-13) over CINCINNATI. What, suddenly these chuckleheads are supposed to wake up and accomplish something?
• New York Jets (+9) over SAN DIEGO. Honestly, 9 points for the Chargers? The team that has lost two buzzer-beaters? Against Brett “Monday Night” Favre? Whatevs.

So far, I’m a Adrian Monk-tastic 4-4 on the year.

• Green Bay (-3) over DETROIT: Leave it to Detroit for taking the lead with 7 minutes left, and not only lose the game, but let the Packers annihilate the spread. Believe in now!
• CINCINNATI (-1) over Tennessee: If the Bengals weren’t back to being the Bungals last year, they’re back there now. How much it must suck to live in the Queen City, when the best performing athletic team is the Bearcats.
• CLEVELAND (+6) over Pittsburgh:Just think, we get to see this shit on primetime ALL YEAR.
• DALLAS (-7) over Philadelphia: Defense? WHO NEEDS IT.

Once again, MEDIOCRITY REIGNS SUPREME. 4-4.

After a long day of not getting to watch much College Football (although it was kinda fun announcing to a crowd of 100 people that OSU was getting dismantled), the NFL is upon us…

• Green Bay (-3) over DETROIT: You try and tell me that the Lions team you saw last week could take on the Packers team from last week, and I”ll show you a large, heaping plate of cornbread. (Can someone PLEASE explain what cornbread refers to? I love the phrase, I just don’t understand it.)
• CINCINNATI (-1) over Tennessee: If anybody is subject to watching this game, I apologize.
• CLEVELAND (+6) over Pittsburgh: I think Brownies will at least show up for their first primetime game against their rivals. Of course, I think eating frosting from the jar is a-ok.
• DALLAS (-7) over Philadelphia: With Brady going down last week, these guys suddenly because Super Bowl favorites.

After last week’s shennanigans (of which you can read in the post right below this one, thanks to one particular lazy writer), I’m 2-2 on the year.

Well what a crappy way to start off the year…

• Lions (+3) over FALCONS.
  
  Could the Lions have looked any worse? I vote no.
• Cowboys (-6) over BROWNS. Prediction: the Cowboys win a playoff game this year.
• RAVENS (-2) over Bengals. Prediction: Ocho Cinco gets his trade. It’s gonna be hilarious when it’s to a team that has already retired 85.
• Vikings (+2) over PACKERS. Aaron Rodgers > Tavaris “how do i throwed football” Jackson

So I start the year off 2-2. Consider I finished off last season a game over .500, and I think I’m off to a rousing success.