Granted, I’m not that big of a baseball fan. I’d rather watch football or hockey than a ball game, and I really don’t apologize for it. That being said, I do follow the game, and watching Tampa Bay’s run to the World Series has been sweet. This team had been a perennial bottom-feeder in a division that did not treat bottom-feeders well. You expected the Glass Slipper to shatter throughout the year, and it never did. Well, except when the Red Sox climbed out of that 7-0 hole to win Game 5. After that, the Rays put on their shit-kickin’ boots and trudged through a tough game 7. They are the American League Champions.

And so, we celebrate their accomplishment…

…by proclaming that the World Series will be a snoozer.

Why does this argument come up every October? Why does it matter if the teams that made it to the Fall Classic are from major markets or not? Sure, the TV ratings might be less-than if the Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers, or Angels aren’t there. But these aren’t these two teams the best teams in baseball? Doesn’t that mean it’ll be exciting?

It’s not like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’s defense winning Super Bowl XXXVII. It’s not like the New Jersey Devils using the trap to win the Cup in ‘03.  It’s your mystical “magic of the game” bullcrap, defend it!

Wow.

CLEVELAND — The Cleveland Indians traded versatile third baseman Casey Blake and cash to the Los Angeles Dodgers for two minor leaguers on Saturday.

You know, I knew they were officially throwing in the towel when they traded CC. But this is just rubbing it in. What, the team was playing TOO WELL after Sabathia left town, so you had to crush our souls another way?

For the record, here’s what came back:

In exchange for Blake, the Indians got catcher Carlos Santana and right-hander Jonathan Meloan.

Works for me, Meloan is apparently a stud, and I’ve missed calling Johan Santana the Black Magic Pitcher since he moved to the Mets. (See, it’s all about the on-air jokes.)

• 5/9: Indians 6, Toronto 1, CC Sabathia gives up 1 run through 7 innings.
• 5/10: Indians 12, Toronto 0, Aaron Laffey pitches 7 shutout innings.
• 5/12 Game 1: Indians 3, Toronto 0, Fausto Carmona pitches 9 shutout innings.
• 5/12 Game 2: Toronto 3, Indians 0 (10), Cliff Lee pitches 9 shutout innings, Rafael Betancourt bites it.
• 5/13: Indians 4, Oakland 0. Paul Byrd pitches 7 1/3 shutout innings.
• 5/14: Indians 3, Oakland 0. CC Sabathia pitches 9 shutout innings.

Do the math, that’s 43 1/3 consecuitive shutout innings by Tribe Starters. At this rate, just hand them the AL Central. The Tigers won’t be bothering them.

UPDATE: The A’s scored in the second inning off of Aaron Laffey, although the only reason Bobby Crosby scored was because of a throwing error… by… Aaron… Laffey… You know what, I would have given him the benefit of the doubt if someone else committed the error, but that’s just some bull.

Yes, I know I haven’t written anything in forever. But you know what? Shut up.

It’s good to know that for one day, the city of Detroit can forget about it’s crime, it’s corruption, it’s philadering mayor, it’s “aw-hell-naw-you-did-NOT” city council (I f-in’ love that video), and just revel in a fantastic sports nights for Detroit teams the world around. And I do mean “the world around”, because all of this happened away from Motown.

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Dear Shaggy,

We’re worried… whenever CC gets crushed like that, we know we’re getting crushed next.

Signed,
Cheeseburgers

(I know, I know, Jim Rome does the same thing. It’s probably the only part of the show I actually get a kick out of.)