I was going to post something along these lines yesterday, but it seems Blog Ninja Matt Sussman beat me to it on Wednesday, and he did it while waiting for the Futon Report to raise itself from the ashes.

What’s more ridiculous than “Bootgate” was “Baldgate” and “Wah-Hoodie-Isn’t-Talking-Gate“. This is why they gotta get rid of the freaking bye week.

As the Toledo Rockets get ready for tonight’s game against Eastern Michigan (at a record of 5-11, 2-2 in the conference), one thing is clear: they still kinda miss Kashif Payne. He had to take a leave of absence at the start of the season, and the way it’s looking, he ain’t coming back. Kinda crummy timing for the team, seeing as Payne was going to be one of only 2 seniors on the team, alongside Jerrah Young. Young, to his credit, is making the best of a bad situation and has really stepped up as a leader.

But the question remains: what happened to Kashif? As it is, nobody’s talking. The University is mum, the daily local would have had a massive exposé if it were something controversial (say, anything that tied into Scooter McDougle’s story), and other coaches are asking me if I know anything (and I’ll tell you right now, I’m connected to nobody). While we hope that everything is fine with his health and well being, we are left with nothing but wild speculation as to his disappearance this year.

After the jump, 11 possible reasons why Kashif Payne has not (and probably won’t ever) play this season:

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welp…

• San Diego @ New England (-13.5)
• New York Giants @ Green Bay (-7)

That puts me 32-32-4 on the year. I know, even if I lose the Super Bowl I’m still technically coming out ahead with the pushes. But I really wanted to have more wins than losses, not that screwy NHL “hey were above .500 even though we’ve got more losses than wins but overtime losses don’t count k?” kinda thing.

Speaking of which, Columbus got embarrassed twice this weekend.  THANKS FOR MAKING IT A GREAT WEEK GUYS.

I’m already guaranteed to end the season in the positive when you work in the pushes, but I wanna see if my wins outgain my losses. And as long as I don’t blow this weekend, it’s all good.

• San Diego @ New England (-13.5) - You know, when I bought into the Lions is the exact moment they went all craptacular on me. So I’ll take the Pats to beat the spread, and hopefully it all comes together.
• New York Giants @ Green Bay (-7) - Okay, NOW Eli will go all Eli.

32-30-4 on the year. Again, as long as I don’t lose both games, I’m golden.

Edit: I had had the NHL.com video up here, but it broke the blog, so here’s a YouTube of it. Watch and be awed.

What’s more amusing… this happened 2 years after Alex Ovechkin’s amazing goal… against Phoenix no less.